Sometimes there is even bacon.
Hello people! It has been a very long time since I updated everyone! Today, David is at home all day. He’s eating nachos and binge-watching TV, so I thought I’d take a crack at this 31 day writing challenge thing. Maybe I’ll even score some bacon!
I’ve been busy! I know I make a dog’s life look easy, but it’s really pretty ruff! (I never get tired of saying that.)
I have to protect the whole house. That’s my job. I have found the most efficient was to stay on top of every possible threat is to stay close to my people. That means I can’t ever go out in the back yard. Something might sneak in the front!
Also, I must stay as close as possible to my people! That means I need to stand on their chests and put my paw on their face while they try to watch TV. Have you seen the stuff that is on TV? It’s SCARY!
I also have to make sure my people get lots of exercise. I weave in front of them as they walk. It strengthens their core by forcing them to move laterally to keep from falling down. If I do that when they are on their way to the bathroom, it’s a cardio workout, too. I also keep their hands strong by letting them pet me a lot. A whole lot.
Yes, it’s a ruff life. I work pretty hard. People are pretty high maitenance.
I love barbecue this much!!!!!
This has been a long time coming. We all know that my stories are the real reason anyone visits anyway. You want to know what my dragon Bob has been up to. You want to know about Bob the hedgehog, too. I will update you on all that soon. First I have to go beg icing. People are baking yummy stuff in the kitchen.
I love my people. But you know that. But seriously, I do. I love everything about them. I love how I can sit on their shoulder and lick their nose. Or when I stand on their chest when they sit on the couch. I can almost get my whole nose into their mouth! That’s pretty awesome.
Yesterday they gave me an extra special treat, though! It was awesome. I discovered it by accident…
I went out back. I do that a lot. It was pretty windy. Just standing on the porch almost felt like hanging my head out of the window of the car. When I made my normal rounds of the backyard, I found the awesome surprise. There was a fragrant fountain of awesome smells! Right in the back yard! I ran in three circles. I couldn’t help it!
It smelled awesome! It reminded me of my people, which makes me happy! It smelled better than the dead mouse that I rubbed my face in a few months ago! I did my best to get some of this awesome smell on me so I could remember this moment for a long time. Tiny was going to be jealous!
My people didn’t like it though. I think they might have been jealous, too. That’s silly because there was plenty of the awesome scented spring in the backyard. Plus they already smelled like it a bit after they tried to get it to stop. Anyway… for whatever reason, they didn’t really want to cuddle with me after I frolicked in the fountain.
But it was still pretty awesome.
Hey everybody. It’s Pete. I snuck back on. Don’t tell, okay? I’ve got a story to tell you.
My best friend Bob, who happens to be a dragon, had something crazy happen to him. He told me all about it. I even saw some of it, too. He found a hedgehog. Yeah, really. A hedgehog. It was awesome.
He named the hedgehog Bob. I thought that was confusing since Bob’s name is Bob, too. Bob didn’t ask my opinion, though.
Bob was really cute. The hedgehog Bob, that is. Anyway, he was cute. Really sweet, too. He had a cute little laugh and the cutest little face. He liked to play sometimes. Bob was fun to be around and really lit up the house. Bob’s mom liked Bob, too.
When I visited, I liked to spend time with Bob. He didn’t talk much, but he was a really good listener. He was also cute and cuddly. Have you seen a hedgehog? They look so cuddly. But I learned a lesson. Hedgehogs look cuddly but you have to be careful. One time I rubbed Bob the wrong way and I found out he wasn’t fuzzy after all. He was pokey! Like a porcupine! Ouch! I DO NOT LIKE!!!! You know me, I’m pretty sensitive about my paws. I don’t like pokey-paw! I had to go home and have some bacon. I asked mom to kiss it, but she doesn’t kiss doggie paws.
After Bob had been at Bob’s for a little while, I noticed a change. Bob didn’t see it at first. That little hedgehog had a dark side. I know what you’re thinking… a hedgehog with a dark side? It’s just a cute little fuzzy animal with sweet eyes. But yeah, let me tell you… dark side. Bob (the hedgehog) liked a few certain things, like snails and mushrooms. But any time something happened that he didn’t like, boy you better look out. Bob could turn those pokies around and impale you at a the drop of a hat! Yee-ouch! And it turns out there is a lot that a little hedgehog can find to not like.
Bob (the dragon) didn’t mind much at first. He had scales and stuff that helped protect him. If you think about it, Bob and his sister used to claw each other with razor sharp talons and breath fire on each other when they fought. A little hedgehog shouldn’t bother him a bit. But the little pokies started to wear him down. They’d get stuck in his nose and between his fingers and sensitive places like that. Ouch! Plus, I had to stop visiting because I am not made out of scales. I am made out of fur and skin and probably a lot of bacon. I know Bob misses me as much as I miss him, but he understands. He still calls me every day.
Bob really believed in Bob. He believed that Bob would learn to like other things besides snails and mushrooms. He thought Bob might really like to have friends. He thought Bob would like to have adventures and stuff. He though Bob would like to fly with him, like I do. Bob (the dragon) and I have a lot of fun together, but you already know that. But Bob wasn’t interested in that. Bob is only interested in snails and mushrooms and being pokey. I feel sorry for Bob. And for Bob, too. That poor hedgehog has had a rough life. I thought my life was rough, but when my family rescued me it was awesome. We have a lot of fun together. I like more things than just snails and mushrooms and I like to cuddle and have adventures. Bob just isn’t like that.
I hope things work out with Bob. And with Bob.
This year started out great. I got a bone. I chewed it up. Tiny got a bone, too. I chewed that one up also.
There wasn’t enough bacon this year. There was a lot, but not enough. You can never have enough bacon.
I will try and remember other things now and talk about them, too. Bacon and bones are the best, though.
My people left and went someplace in the spring. Me and Tiny and Snowy all had to stay at home. It wasn’t fun at home. The weather was nice, but we were outside and inside at the wrong times. And too much. When my people came back, I was excited. They talked about some kind of “awful tower” or something like that. People are weird.
My friend Snowy got real sick. It was sad. I’m not sure where she went, but she’s not with us any more. I looked and looked for her but could not find her. I still miss her. I almost wrote about it but it was too sad.
Me and Tiny are still doing great. Tonight I accidentally peed on her head. I must point out, it was very dark outside and she is very black. It was cold and I was in a hurry. It could’ve happened to anyone.
A different time, this girl came to our house. She had suitcases and pillows and other people-like things, so I guess she’s staying awhile. She’s pretty nice but she gave me lots of hugs and kisses. I was trying to be all macho and stuff, but I decided that hugs and kisses are okay sometimes. She’s still here and still give me hugs and kisses.
Oh, and there was a different time when the alpha dog and the guy that gives me Pupperoni went on a trip together. Becky and Duke took care of me that week. I took care of the boys and our new girl. It was ruff! Duke and Becky are pretty easy to get along with, though. Once again, there was a distinct lack of bacon, but that’s kind of the story of my life.
Of course, there was also lots of regular doggie types of stuff that happened all year. Me and Bob had lots of dragony adventures. I built lots of things out of sticks and leaves and stuff. Some of it even almost worked. I spent lots of time romping, barking, and protecting things. I exchange my protection services for for head scratching and snuggles. I’ve pretty much given up on bacon.
We went on lots of long walks this year, too. That is fun. I get to see geese and sometimes other dogs. I never look them in the eye, though. That way I stay invisible. I get kind of tired on the longest walks, but it is a lot of fun anyway. I think my people would get lost if I didn’t pull them along.
Well, that’s the way things look from my perch on the top of the couch. It’s been a good year but they changed the password on the computer so I haven’t been sharing as many stories. It’s still a ruff life.
PS: Please send bacon.