Sometimes there is even bacon.
This has been a long time coming. We all know that my stories are the real reason anyone visits anyway. You want to know what my dragon Bob has been up to. You want to know about Bob the hedgehog, too. I will update you on all that soon. First I have to go beg icing. People are baking yummy stuff in the kitchen.
Hey everybody. It’s Pete. I snuck back on. Don’t tell, okay? I’ve got a story to tell you.
My best friend Bob, who happens to be a dragon, had something crazy happen to him. He told me all about it. I even saw some of it, too. He found a hedgehog. Yeah, really. A hedgehog. It was awesome.
He named the hedgehog Bob. I thought that was confusing since Bob’s name is Bob, too. Bob didn’t ask my opinion, though.
Bob was really cute. The hedgehog Bob, that is. Anyway, he was cute. Really sweet, too. He had a cute little laugh and the cutest little face. He liked to play sometimes. Bob was fun to be around and really lit up the house. Bob’s mom liked Bob, too.
When I visited, I liked to spend time with Bob. He didn’t talk much, but he was a really good listener. He was also cute and cuddly. Have you seen a hedgehog? They look so cuddly. But I learned a lesson. Hedgehogs look cuddly but you have to be careful. One time I rubbed Bob the wrong way and I found out he wasn’t fuzzy after all. He was pokey! Like a porcupine! Ouch! I DO NOT LIKE!!!! You know me, I’m pretty sensitive about my paws. I don’t like pokey-paw! I had to go home and have some bacon. I asked mom to kiss it, but she doesn’t kiss doggie paws.
After Bob had been at Bob’s for a little while, I noticed a change. Bob didn’t see it at first. That little hedgehog had a dark side. I know what you’re thinking… a hedgehog with a dark side? It’s just a cute little fuzzy animal with sweet eyes. But yeah, let me tell you… dark side. Bob (the hedgehog) liked a few certain things, like snails and mushrooms. But any time something happened that he didn’t like, boy you better look out. Bob could turn those pokies around and impale you at a the drop of a hat! Yee-ouch! And it turns out there is a lot that a little hedgehog can find to not like.
Bob (the dragon) didn’t mind much at first. He had scales and stuff that helped protect him. If you think about it, Bob and his sister used to claw each other with razor sharp talons and breath fire on each other when they fought. A little hedgehog shouldn’t bother him a bit. But the little pokies started to wear him down. They’d get stuck in his nose and between his fingers and sensitive places like that. Ouch! Plus, I had to stop visiting because I am not made out of scales. I am made out of fur and skin and probably a lot of bacon. I know Bob misses me as much as I miss him, but he understands. He still calls me every day.
Bob really believed in Bob. He believed that Bob would learn to like other things besides snails and mushrooms. He thought Bob might really like to have friends. He thought Bob would like to have adventures and stuff. He though Bob would like to fly with him, like I do. Bob (the dragon) and I have a lot of fun together, but you already know that. But Bob wasn’t interested in that. Bob is only interested in snails and mushrooms and being pokey. I feel sorry for Bob. And for Bob, too. That poor hedgehog has had a rough life. I thought my life was rough, but when my family rescued me it was awesome. We have a lot of fun together. I like more things than just snails and mushrooms and I like to cuddle and have adventures. Bob just isn’t like that.
I hope things work out with Bob. And with Bob.
This year started out great. I got a bone. I chewed it up. Tiny got a bone, too. I chewed that one up also.
There wasn’t enough bacon this year. There was a lot, but not enough. You can never have enough bacon.
I will try and remember other things now and talk about them, too. Bacon and bones are the best, though.
My people left and went someplace in the spring. Me and Tiny and Snowy all had to stay at home. It wasn’t fun at home. The weather was nice, but we were outside and inside at the wrong times. And too much. When my people came back, I was excited. They talked about some kind of “awful tower” or something like that. People are weird.
My friend Snowy got real sick. It was sad. I’m not sure where she went, but she’s not with us any more. I looked and looked for her but could not find her. I still miss her. I almost wrote about it but it was too sad.
Me and Tiny are still doing great. Tonight I accidentally peed on her head. I must point out, it was very dark outside and she is very black. It was cold and I was in a hurry. It could’ve happened to anyone.
A different time, this girl came to our house. She had suitcases and pillows and other people-like things, so I guess she’s staying awhile. She’s pretty nice but she gave me lots of hugs and kisses. I was trying to be all macho and stuff, but I decided that hugs and kisses are okay sometimes. She’s still here and still give me hugs and kisses.
Oh, and there was a different time when the alpha dog and the guy that gives me Pupperoni went on a trip together. Becky and Duke took care of me that week. I took care of the boys and our new girl. It was ruff! Duke and Becky are pretty easy to get along with, though. Once again, there was a distinct lack of bacon, but that’s kind of the story of my life.
Of course, there was also lots of regular doggie types of stuff that happened all year. Me and Bob had lots of dragony adventures. I built lots of things out of sticks and leaves and stuff. Some of it even almost worked. I spent lots of time romping, barking, and protecting things. I exchange my protection services for for head scratching and snuggles. I’ve pretty much given up on bacon.
We went on lots of long walks this year, too. That is fun. I get to see geese and sometimes other dogs. I never look them in the eye, though. That way I stay invisible. I get kind of tired on the longest walks, but it is a lot of fun anyway. I think my people would get lost if I didn’t pull them along.
Well, that’s the way things look from my perch on the top of the couch. It’s been a good year but they changed the password on the computer so I haven’t been sharing as many stories. It’s still a ruff life.
PS: Please send bacon.
I am very, very disappointed. I love to ride in the car. I love bacon. Look at this picture:
Once upon a time there was a dog named Pete. He was a great and majestic king.
All was not well in the kingdom. King Pete had been having a ruff day. He decided to have a feast and invite all his friends. He ordered his 47 kitty-servants to make the preparations.
Pete ran into the dining hall. He jumped up onto the table, eager to begin the feast. He sat attentively at the end of the table, watching the kitties bring in dish after glorious dish of food. The smell of roasted goose, crispy bacon, and cheese penetrated the regal air surrounding him. He almost began drooling, but managed to hold his composure.
The feast table was full but something was still missing. He summoned his kitty-servants and ordered them to call all his friend and ask them to come right away!
Bob, the dragon, was the first to arrive. It helped that he lived in the castle, valiantly guarding its high walls day and night.
Possum, the earth worm was next. He is never very far away. Plus he’s a ninja.
Many, many other friends came. Beaver, the raccoon was there. Sparrow, the mockingbird came too. Pete’s good friend Elephant, the red fox wouldn’t have missed it. Of course, Tiny and Snowy (the dogs) were there too. All his squirrel buddies were there too. A grand time was had by all!
While everyone else ate, the kitty-servants dressed up in funny costumes. Some blew songs on trumpets while others danced around and did acrobatics.
Suddenly, everyone heard a large “SPLAT” sound coming from the roof. Everyone got quiet very quickly. That sound could only mean that the vicious geese of doom were attacking. They couldn’t stand for anyone in the kingdom to have fun!
But Pete is a brave dog! He is a valiant king! “No goose of doom is going to ruin our fun! Come with me, everyone, we will teach them a lesson. We must stand and fight! Me must defend the castle and defend our right to FEAST! Onward! For BACON!”
With renewed courage, every animal stormed to the castle towers. They worked together to load the anti-goose canons. Bob ran from canon to canon, lighting them with his breath. Possum (the worm) helped spot the geese. Others busied themselves loading ammo, hauling gunpowder, or aiming the giant canons.
Boom after gigantic boom filled the night. The animals all stood in awe at the incredible display of fireworks filling the dark sky. Geese were fleeing in all directions. The feast was saved!
Pete led his friends downstairs, where the kitties were all cowering under the table. Pete thought it would be a great time to do a celebration dance. But, after he spun in three circles, he realized that he was tired. Everyone took a big nap instead.
I may have a ruff live, but I have some great adventures.
The other day I wanted to have some fun so I went to Bob’s house. I don’t know if you remember, but Bob is a dragon. He lives behind my backyard. He’s a lot of fun. I knew we were going to have a lot of fun, so I strapped my little doggie’s explorer headlamp onto my head, filled my emergency survival pack with bacon, and headed out.
I knocked on Bob’s door. He answered but he didn’t look good at all. His eyes were all droopy and he was greener than normal, with a hint of blue too. And a touch of yellow. And purple. I am lucky I am such a short dog! He sneezed as he opened the door and that caused a big explosion of flaming snot! It flew right over my head and incinerated a passing raccoon. Poor raccoon!
Bob said he was sick and had a cold. I asked what I could do to help him get better. I was going to offer him my bacon, but I ate it between the time I knocked and the time he opened the door. He said there really wasn’t anything that would help, he just needed to rest.
I think there are cures for the dragon cold. I was determined to find them.
I went down to the lake to find the remedy. I gathered up some leaves and sticks and stuff to make a potion. And some fish bones. And a shell. An old pop can, a bobber, and a plastic worm. I saw some geese of doom and was going to grab them, but they saw me coming and flew off.
I dumped all the ingredients in an old hubcap I found, filled it to the brim with lake water, and ran back to Bob’s house. I didn’t have a way to heat up this magical soup, but I thought that was ok.
Bob answered the door again. I told him that I found the cure! He was excited! I spun in lots of circles. Then I was dizzy and sat down. Bob lifted the cure to his lips. I wagged my little tail stump.
Right as he started taking his first sip a big sneeze hit. Boy, that was a mess! He had flaming bobbers and plastic worms buried in flaming snot dripping down his wall! Ew! I don’t think his mom was very happy with me.
I think tomorrow I’ll let him get some rest. Maybe I’ll go ballooning.